Post 6 Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking/Roger Bourne

Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking

By: Roger Bourne

Here you are, perfectly relaxed as you attend the farewell party of Joe.

Your boss comes up and asks," Would you give the farewell speech to Joe in 10 minutes time?"

"I can't'" you splutter, "my vocal chords are paralyzed."

And the fear kicks in.
"I can't do this!"
I must be crazy!"

That doesn't work so now you wait for the floor to open up and swallow you.

That doesn't happen either.

Public Speaking creates a great deal of anxiety in most people and arises when they face the prospect of giving a speech, particularly for the first time.

The truth is that public speaking is always a mixture of terror and exhilaration.

For everyone.

It's just like snow skiing.

When you start, all you can think about is how awkward you are, how dangerous it is and how you'll never be able to do this.

You get one turn right, get up a little bit of speed, the snow starts to fly in the sunshine and a tiny bit of excitement pops up.

Later, as you become a more accomplished skier, the balance between terror and exhilaration changes.
Now you are zipping down the slopes, carving those turns and feeling like an Olympic Champion!

But there is always that little bit of anxiety lurking, as you speed across the snow.

Typically for beginners in public speaking, all we experience is the terror.

Waiting for our turn to come, starting our speech, the terror remains.
This seems to consume us, makes us irrational and we often feel paralysed.
Then somehow we get through the presentation, come from the stage and as the numbness wears off, the next feeling we have is relief that the ordeal is over.

However, we still retain a sneaking regard for our courage in making that speech and a small glow of exhilaration starts to burn within.

Particularly if we can stop saying to ourselves, "how bad we were."

In fact, as you walk from the spotlight, say, "Well done indeed," to yourself.

Why?

Because it's true.

With more practice, the amount of terror reduces and the amount of excitement increases.
Now you do another speech, another presentation and pretty soon you actually realise that you are enjoying this and you become amazed.

And slowly you become hooked on the excitement of giving a speech.

So much so that when you go to fridge in the night for a drink, the fridge light comes on, and you give a 5-minute presentation!

And then the fun starts to creep in.

And by the way.

If you do not have any nervousness or excitement just before you speak, you will come across to your audience as flat.

Did you know that some of the greatest orators in the world have been known to be physically sick, before giving a stirring speech.

So, always be kind to yourself.

You will get better, with every presentation that you make.

But you have to make the presentations.

So learn the information and then simply "do it!"

Author Bio
Roger Bourne has been involved in Public Speaking, Personal Development and Coaching for more than 25 years.

As published author of "From Fear to Fame in Public Speaking," he knows how to makes it clear and simple for people getting started in Public Speaking.
Visit: www.feartofame.com

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3 Ways to Ruin Your Speaking or Singing Voice for Life
If somebody told me, "Go out there and ruin your voice for the rest of your life", I could do it in less than 1 year. Here is what I would do:

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Practice speaking as a tool to manage your thoughts and ideas for your writing projects..

Post 5 Writing from the Heart/Gina Ann Day

Writer's Cafe will help you to understand "writing from the heart" and to help you develop your abilities to recognize this phenomenon. The cafe will be a source of empowerment, as well as a tool, but you have to want to believe in the experience, and accept and trust God's will that you are an instrument of His peace. 

The words will flow.  If you allow them to do so. He will use you, your work, and the outcome to reach others, whether your genre is Sci-Fi, Old Fashion Romance, Biblical, or something in between.

I believe anyone can write if they set their hearts to co-pilot mode.  I'm not one to limit an individual by telling them either they have what it takes to write or they don't.  That's like telling a baby it has to crawl all its life because they keep falling.

I'm walking where I am led.  If you've never heard of me or any of my pen names, that's ok.  I'd prefer it that way.  I'm here to work the magic of a labor of love and to give God the glory for doing so.

There are other networks, social clubs, sites, and such that may seem to be the right place to work, but right here, God will let you know his anointing is reaching for you and that's priority. Enjoy your other memberships, but just delight in reaching beyond here.

This cafe is a place where I really walk hand in hand with you and work heart to heart with you to aid in YOU finding the right path for yourself and your work; to help you stay focused and in tune.  So, as we journey together, this nonconformist approach, keep an open mind and a loving heart to find the seeds of wisdom He sends your way.

Here we go.  Just do it and smile!

Writers are often instructed to plan out their book well before developing a tale.  You should already have the plot in mind, plan out a diagram or chart (of all elements), and add characters to the plan.  The keys are in planning, researching, developing, and producing.

Writing from the heart, from a Christian perspective is amazingly different; simpler.....much simpler.  It might be similar to writers who write at the speed of thought, but the Spirit is what makes the difference.  He, Jesus, makes it a real journey of passion and is definitely not a "written in stone" regimen.

Lesson number 1;

Learn to organize the portion of time you have managed to set aside for your writing in balance with priorities in order always.  It is very important.

We hope you are coming into that portion already clear in mind and body relaxed.  If not, it's best you get into the most relaxed position or setting which you enjoy, and park until you are clear in mind and relaxed.  Prayer really enhances this, your shifting downstage.

Being tense and still fumbling through a zillion thoughts from possibly days or weeks before, can and will block you from being able to focus on your writing.  Get in the habit of shaking off troubles by allowing God to lift them from you.  Again, prayer on a consistent basis will alleviate pressures and lift your conscience until your focus is on Him.  Not your troubles.

Priority.  It always works. 

Whatever amount of time it takes to relax and know you are in His presence, will be your catalyst into the rest of your allotment set aside for your writing.  Focus on listening.  Beyond everything else.  To Him.

Praise & Worship music, candles, and the door locked from possible imaginary emergencies that may come knocking (conjured up by family to distract you) goes a long way to set the mood, though many writers skip the intoxication of the senses for lack of time (or belief), though it really does work for most.  Even a long soak in the tub/hot tub will get you down to earth really fast.

Whatever it takes, do it.  The sooner before you go to writing, the better.  Remember, you have only a certain amount of time allotted for your writing, and you can't focus if you are stressed out and unable to focus.

So, dear writer, that is your first lesson.  Be able to get into good habits before you write.  If you already know what it takes, great.  You have until next month to enjoy the luxury of fine-tuning your shifting down reflexes.

I would love to hear how you shift down to relax before you write.  Write to me and let me know.  But, do keep in mind to focus on the Lord while you are doing it. 

My routine is flexible, but on synchronization is this; I turn off everything; TV, radio, computer, people..... I place a GONE FISHING note on office and front/back doors. (I really am in my way.) I begin with sincere prayer, body stretches with my eyes closed in a quiet setting, candles blazing, and think nothing.  I've made sure lots of ice-cold diet Dew and coffee is on hand.  I keep plenty of fresh fruit, cheese, crackers, and nuts stashed near the desk for munchies.   Once I'm settled down, I'm in....ready to write.  Something else; I'm a night owl.  There's something truly wonderful about dusk to dawn writing experiences.

Writing from the Heart..... #1

~ Let people see the REAL, IMPERFECT, FLAWED, QUIRKY, WEIRD, BEAUTIFUL & MAGICAL person that YOU are through the reflection of your soul revealed in your writing.  As you progress or digress, your writing will reveal your journey to inspire your new fans. ~

 -  Begin by making consistent, uninterrupted time for writing.  I used to love being the night owl.. writing all night long with coffee nearby and then admiring the breaking dawn (through eyes with toothpicks holding them open), then going to bed for the morning.  Not any more.  I am forced to be a day hiker. =sigh=

 - Create your space and park a sign - DO NOT DISTURB - clearly printed on one side and discussed with your loved ones.  On the other side should be - GONE FISHING - (or whatever you like) I like to surround myself with mementos and life collected photos that include family, friends, pets, and travels.  I have a window next to my roll-top desk that opens up to a twelve-foot high deck surrounded by the forest.  I can browse the quiet and the wildlife while I ponder my manuscript.  Whatever gives you peace will work.

Alright.  Now, start writing.  Submit two pages to my email ginaannwatkinsday@gmail.com to get a chance to be published on my blog.

Here is your prompt to write about;

Send each submission to ginaannwatkinsday@gmail.com I will post them for your friends, fans, and others to read.

"Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord..." Hebrews 12:14 

Thank you!

Gina

Post 4 Self-Improvement

Are You Giving From A Place of Horror or Hope? Five Steps to Healing Your Way to Empowered Giving

By: Coco Fossland

During times of need, many people rise to the occasion and give whatever is in their hearts. Yet, like everything, the way we give is a reflection of how we live every other aspect of our lives. Thus, even giving can become fodder for our own inner transformation. It all boils down to one simple question... are you giving from a place of fear and horror or from a place of hope and abundance?

How you give, and from where in your spirit the giving is birthed, is a reflection or a mirror of how you live your life.

When the devastating news arrived on newspapers across the world that New Orleans was under twenty feet of water in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, many people - perhaps you - immediately went online with a credit card in hand to donate money to help the water-soaked community. The question is, in the moments leading you to your computer, what were the deeper feelings and thoughts that drove your giving response?

Were you horrified that something so terrible could happen?

Did you feel helpless that such a tragedy could happen to you?

Were you stunned by how vulnerable the people living in Mississippi and New Orleans were and are?

Did you sense your own vulnerability?

Did you feel guilty that you are safe, happy, and well... while so many others right now, are in peril?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, recognize that at least some of your impulse to give stems from a place of fear in you. In other words, you are giving from a place of fear or horror.

Giving from a place of horror or fear is not inherently a bad thing. But it is something to observe and be aware of. Often times we express the love and care to others that we most need to give to ourselves.

Whenever you discover that you're responding from your fear, take time to focus attention and healing on the part of you that is afraid.

First, identify the fear. Look at the person or organization to which you are offering support. What is the fear that this organization brings up for you? What situation, predicament, problem, or ailment do you fear happening to you? Whether it's the fear of loosing everything, the fear of getting cancer, the fear of living in squalor, the fear of being discriminated against, or the fear of dying -- understand for yourself, which fear in you is present. On a piece of paper, write down your fear.

Second, identify the feeling. Let yourself feel your fear of having cancer, living in squalor, being oppressed, or facing death. What does that fear feel like? Identify the specific feeling. Is it rage, sadness, desperation, hopelessness, bitterness, anxiety, numbness? Write down the specific feeling that lives beneath the fear.

Third, trace back the feeling. Allow yourself to recall three other times in your life when you felt that same feeling before. Trust whatever memories from your past come to the surface first. Sometimes the incidents you recall will have little in common with the current fear, but trust that the feeling is somehow related. Write down each of the experiences and recall exactly how you felt. Notice how these three incidents from the past and are somehow emotionally connected to the fear you're experiencing now.

Fourth, understand the healing that is needed. Pick one of the three incidents from your past - preferably the one when you were the youngest. Look at that situation, and with an open heart, allow yourself to see, what you longed for at that moment in time. What did your spirit desperately want and need? Did it want safety, understanding, love, hope, attention, kindness, praise? What were you longing for? Write down whatever you notice.

Fifth, finally, give yourself healing today. Ask yourself how you could give yourself whatever you longed for in the past. If you longed for love, maybe today you could look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are. If you longed for hope, maybe today you could light a candle that represents hope in your living room. If you longed for attention, maybe today you could write yourself a letter of acknowledgment and praise. In other words, give to yourself today, whatever healing you longed for in the past.

As you take the action of healing, let yourself feel your relationship with your fear transform and evolve.

When you heal your own spirit in conjunction with the giving you provide to others, you open yourself to a possibility of giving from a place of hope and empowerment rather than fear and horror.

The difference between empowered giving and fear-based giving, is dramatic. Not just for you, but also for the recipient.

When you have healed yourself, you hold open the space of hope for others. Thus, you give, not only your support, but you also give the energy of empowerment, possibility, and strength. And isn't that what we'd hope to give anyway?

Author Bio

The author of the forthcoming book, The Power of Trust: Trust Yourself, Transform Your World, Coco Fossland is a nationally recognized expert in personal transformation, self-empowerment and self-healing. Blending a decade of technology and strategy consulting with her expertise in self-trust transformation, Coco's business is focused on supporting people passionate about creating businesses that make a difference in the world. She helps her clients fuse their higher path with their businesses, creating institutions and organizations that profoundly impact the world one person at a time. www.cocofossland.com

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